Wednesday, November 5, 2014

My thoughts on the tragedy to an Autistic Boy on the Oregon Coast.

                             Photo Credit/source:  http://www.cnycentral.com/news/story.aspx?id=1118436

I have seen people recently post on social media "There's no excuse that mother deserves to lose her life for killing her child" in regards to the mother to threw her son off the bridge on the Oregon Coast.
In a perfect world yes. I thought I would share my perspective as a special needs mom myself. To reference the story I am referring to here's a link. jillian-mccabe-accused-throwing-autistic-son-oregon-bridge-

Excerpt from the article

Andrew McCabe said he hoped the tragedy would bring attention to the lack of help for the mentally ill. "The state of health care in the country and the lack of prioritization that we have especially for our mentally ill is appalling. And its heartbreaking and unfortunately there’s tragic results when people don’t get the help they need," he said. 

Something I want to help shed a little light on, Autism is not always a gift. This lady's son was Autistic, according to the article he was diagnosed on the severe end of the spectrum. Our children are absolutely gifts from God <3 My child & myself as her parent did not ask for Autism, we had it put into our laps. That's how life is sometimes...  A part of my Autistic child and other Autistics live with it daily will literally be robbed for the rest of their life. Does that mean they don't exhibit beauty at times? No it does not, they exhibit some amazing gifts at times and remind us to be thankful for the most simple things in life, including developmental stages that usually come automatic to us, but not to them. I am so thankful for healing and helping regain some health for some of our special needs kiddos, my daughter has beat odds and come a long way, but she still needs healing and still struggles daily. So the damage is life long. Some of this damage I believe is preventable, but I will save that for another conversation...

There is a reason when I was brand new to the special needs community, starting our journey while seeing specialist after specialist, getting answers and a diagnosis. In seeking support from therapists and other parents I would be told allow myself to grieve; our children are still living, but we mourn what they could have become. Until I did that I could not be fully in the present for myself or my daughter. God knew the path we would go down and I absolutely don't blame him for our circumstances, I believe it's in result of the sinfulness of mankind and the toxins on this earth. I am also truly thankful for the gift of salvation I have been given... My mom also has mental illness and I was a caretaker for her from a very young age. People don't truly get Mania, until they have lived and dealt with it. Mania and psychosis aren't a joke (we are not talking mere depression, psychosis is the inability to truly reason at times) So until a person has walked in the shoes of an individual or family member that loves and cares for someone with serious mental illness most have no clue whatsoever the depth of mania and pyschosis. I don't completely fault people for that, but I can remember many times growing up defending my own mother from the public eye for not understanding her mannerisms. There needs to be more education, awareness and action. I can still remember staying with family while my dad sought care for my mom when her mania and psychosis needed to be stabilized.

My mother was told as a young mom, that was obviously dealing with postpartum depression
you are tired and a new mom, go home and do your best. She was not diagnosed until years later after my sister was born. Thank goodness my dad and my grandma advocated and got my mom the help she needed and stayed persistent until she was finally given a diagnosis and given some help.

I am so proud of my mom and her health and independence these days, but I am at peace in understanding she will have her illness for the rest of her life. I am thankful for those in her life that have advocated and helped support her, because not everyone with mental illness has that support, and sometimes that results in their own lives being put into danger and even lost because they give up.

What's chilling is this mother on the Oregon Coast was completely "calm" when being arrested and questioned. So she was doomed from the get go, once it became more that she could bear, her poor son lost his life in result. That behavior is an obvious indicator she was not in her right mind and crying out for help. That does not excuse her behavior and it's sad that no one close to her could have gotten both her and her son the care they deserve. Because now this poor boy is gone and she will be locked up probably forever. The whole situation breaks my heart.

There are people out there who are pre-meditative and knowingly harm, injure or take the lives of others, and I am not condoning that behavior at all. I am just saying we need to care for those mentally ill in our society and advocate for them, before they themselves are hurt or the ones they love, especially innocent children!

In a perfect world and scenario it's an eye for an eye, but in the current world we live in some people genuinely are a danger to themselves and their children :( That is not the responsibility of the government either, we the people are stewards of this earth while we are on it. As believers I believe it's our duty.

May this young boy rest in peace.
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